Anonymous said: My new bea keeps orgasming too soon. At first he said he was nervous which is understandable, but we've been seeing each other for 3months now and he's still cums like 5 min in! I'm always very understanding towards him and tell him it's ok, practice makes perfect ;). But the last time it happened he said he feels "pathetic" and has been avoiding sex ever since. Now he's really deep into school and barely has time for me... :( I don't know what to do. How can I reassure him and make time for me?
I read your question and I did a little research, and I thought about some personal knowledge of my own, so I just wanted to dispel some myths of yours:
1. Average sex lasts about 7 minutes. Don’t get caught up on going for hours and hours all day, sometimes sex is a pleasurable experience and a quickie can get you better off than marathon sex. So don’t focusfocus on the quantity.
2. Ejaculation =/= orgasm. Basically think of ejaculation as a muscle spasm, a nerve impulse sent to the dick. Now, if you separate that, what comes after - the trembling, the body convulsions all of that - THAT is the orgasm. Men have been taught incorrectly that ejaculation means orgasm, but it ain’t i true.
Now that I’ve gotten those biggest myths out of the way, let’s talk about your man.
Sex doesn’t have to be long but if you aren’t getting anything out if it and he’s feeling bad, that’s a problem. I believe you are doing everything right by encouraging him and being patient, and that’s all you can REALLY ask for. It sounds like the reason why he is putting himself down because he’s embarrassed, he feels like less of a man because he cums so fast. I think to help solve his problem - continue to support him, show him that you care, continue to have sex with him. I would suggest extended foreplay - 30 minutes or more. Why? That gives you a chance to warm up - it takes a woman a LITTLE bit longer to ‘heat up’ and it will get his body used to staying erect for longer and will give him some confidence, taking some anxiety away from the situation. And of course, it will build a stronger bond between the two of you, creating more intimacy.
This may be a little awkward, but trust me on this - masturbate together. It’s just as intimate as touching somebody, but getting off to someone touching themselves is some next level shit. Have him cum. THEN try having sex.
I also was doing some research - he KNOWS when he’s going to orgasm, so have him try the ‘pause and squeeze technique’ - stroking, stroking, “oh i feel like i’m about to come”, he pulls out, YOU squeeze the head of his penis until the sensation of ejaculation is gone, and put it back in. continue this over and over - until climax.
I also would recommend him do kegel exercises - they aren’t only for women. Men can do them to help someone control our ejaculation and even improve the quality of the orgasm.
The BIGGEST thing to do, of course, is TALKING about it. Talking relieves anxiety. Talking is foreplay. Talking makes people feel better. I feel like you have done your best to make him feel ‘at home’ and now he has to meet you half way. What does he do with his orgasm/ejaculation? Does he call it quits? Does he just try one session and not try again? It’s happened to me before, but I got back on it after. It happens to the best of us - again, on average, sex is 7 minutes - and I’ve gone longer, i’ve had all day affairs - but I don’t even look at the clock. Whenever we’re both satisfied is when it’s over.
Lastly, it could be a medical issue.
Medication such as anti-depressants, some painkillers cause premature ejaculatiuon.
Best of luck! Let me know it goes.
Dictated by Scruffs
Typed by lovelyandbrown. Thanks baby.
This is great! This should be shared around twitter!
He’s an evil genius.
*steals ur girl* *mom finds out and makes me return her and apologize*
My pride is stronger than my feelings. Don’t try to play me.
I could think of you 24/7 and you still wouldn’t hear from me.